Skip to main content

OH MY STAR!

Image
SANGEETHA KAMATH


In the still, restful hush before dawn arose, a single bright star greeted me today through the lonely blue haze. A wordless ‘Good Morning’, it sparkled contrary to Dad's hearty voice ringing through the house. 

The sky rejoices in you, we revel in all the good memories you've given us to write about, journal about, sing about…most importantly to converse about with joy in our hearts and a wistfulness in our eyes. 

Could any treasure be more dear than this?

It's a spring in my rose garden with your nostalgia in full bloom. A tiny heart with its vast, grand, golden and upbeat moments is overstuffed with the fabulous 50 years of my life you've given me.

Everything is hunky-dory for most parts of the day and night– because I dedicate every waking moment to you, as do I with my mellowed breathing just before I fall asleep asking you to envelop me and Babylou with the most powerful, shielding aura that is now yours. 

Yet, there is no silence more louder, no void more expansive but there's also a slow  healing in the solitude. 

I don't stand on the edge with broken wings-- swan diving into an abyss. Precisely because that's not how you built my resilience when you could glean long before I stepped out into this cut throat arena that this child had to be toughened up.

And true to your wise words, I realized well in time that softness and helplessness had no place in this world. 

“Don't have too many emotions and attachments with anyone or anything” is your anthem I live by today. And a lesson in the learning as I stand rooted and anchored  even when grief stings. 

I can sense how proud you are of me that I didn't crumble into a heap. I know you see me carrying on through my days and nights while showering me with love and blessings always. 

As I reiterate, I don't spare a moment of my time for people who judged me for not crying my eyes out or for holding myself back from giving them theatrical performances of my anguish on the day I bid a fond, final farewell to you. 

Because I live by your principles, dear daddy, I'm made of the same seasoned, cast iron demeanor that you always flaunted— stoic, restrained and dignified. You had zero tolerance for emotional melodrama. And so do I. 

The glances and gazes that bore down on me ceased to cause even a dent in my steady emotional balance and clear headedness because I had eyes only for you. You deserved to be sent off in a classy manner and so it was.

How calmly and peacefully you lay there as though in deep sleep…the one deprived during the last few months because of the severe discomfort.

How calm, peaceful and pain-free you are now after a year and half of squirming under needles, tubes, syringes and IVs…

Why and how can I/ should I be tear stricken when you're finally rid of the shell that was deteriorating and damaged? 

Now that you've reached a place of supreme healing, I coax you to go forth on your transition and I also know for certain that you will be the first one to greet me on the other side and walk beside me to show me the way. 

Like you always brought me to school, and fetched me home. Every single day 💕. 

It's only right that it should only be you even in my afterlife. Until then, you, a single bright star will sparkle through my window in the quiet hush of the lonely blue hazy sky before every earthly dawn.

PIC COURTESY:  PINTEREST 


Labels:

Comments

  1. AlkaMay 16, 2025 at 5:05 AM

    I’m sure your daddy is reading this with joy and pride. May we all inspire our children so!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ANAM CARA

SANGEETHA KAMATH
The waves are soft and frothy. Laced with gossamer frills tenderly kissing the tips of my toes covered with the grainy sand of the rugged seashore where I'm sitting, wistful. A gust of briny breeze tousles my hair as I gaze as far as my eyes can see.  A flock of terns wheel overhead, their sharp, shrill cries punctuating the air as they dive and swoop over the surfs. A lone frigate bird , its crimson belly dazzling like a jewel skims majestically above, its long, slender wings outstretched as it rides the thermals high above the ocean. I absorb the sights and sounds of the late afternoon while absentmindedly scooping seashells beside me. As the afternoon phases, the furthest rim of the ocean is fringed in a gilded hem and the sleepy sun yawns, its dipping glow streaking the sky in a mellow tangerine and warm cherry. As I continue sitting there, the ships and yachts appear --specks of light from the portholes glimmering in the distance, reminding me of the phrase “That ship has sai...
13 comments
Read more

ARIEL AND BLUE-BLOOD SHOES

SANGEETHA KAMATH
  The waves crashed violently against the craggy mountainside and the moonlight shone on the lacy froths. As I waded through the water and stepped on the wet sand, I remembered another night which was many moons ago. The same glinting lights through the palace doorways and windows, the fireworks adorning the night sky like shooting stars and meteors. A royal celebration with all the works and the guests dressed up in their best finery and aristocratic jewelry. Of noble births they all were. Blue blooded as the matriarch had pointedly told me once.  That unholy night! That night of icy hearts and howling laughter, the echoes of cackling that followed me till I ran on wobbly legs to find my place of comfort where the land met water… Hot tears streaming down, I regretted those days when I lost my heart to a man so spineless. Had I not dragged him to the shore, he would have been a mangled mass after being torn apart by the piranhas and other monstrous maws.  How I regret…Oh!...
10 comments
Read more

HILANG

SANGEETHA KAMATH
  Chapter 2                Muay, the Maddening Scamp Seasons had gone by with vibrant autumns and chilling winters. Muay Thai had now  become very outgoing and social. On a full moon night, this newly transformed scamp  had bounded away on some nocturnal adventure.  I waited for her return for almost a week. As I searched high and low for Muay Thai, my heart raced with panic with every passing moment.  On one of my search treks, I spotted something that made my blood run cold. Lying on the ground, partially hidden by the underbrush on the curbside, was Muay Thai's collar. The vibrant fuchsia leather was faded and dirty, but the delicate zircon pendant still sparkled in the sunlight and that had caught my attention. Holding it gently in my hands, I examined it for any sign of what might have happened to Muay Thai. But there was nothing - no blood, dried or otherwise. Maybe, just maybe, Muay Thai was still out there, wait...
8 comments
Read more

GATOS MEUS QUERIDOS

SANGEETHA KAMATH
Chapter 1                    Muay The Warrior Cat Muay Thai came to be called so for the feisty and spirited little thing she was, reminiscent of the intense and energetic martial art of Muay Thai . Her bold personality inspired me to give her a name that reflected her sass and vigor. Muay Thai's antics were the stuff of legends. She was a buzz of energy, always getting into mischief and mayhem. Whether she was chasing invisible bugs, leaping over furniture like an acrobat or wrestling with toys, Muay Thai was a force to be reckoned with. Her favorite pastime was "attacking" my hands and feet, using her lightning-fast reflexes and razor-sharp teeth. It was a game she loved, and one that always left me in stitches. Despite her tough-as-nails persona, Muay Thai was also a total softie at heart. She loved nothing more than curling up in my lap and purring contentedly, her eyes gleaming with adoration before snoozing into the deepest of sl...
6 comments
Read more

EILÍFUR GJÖF (ETERNAL GIFT)

SANGEETHA KAMATH
  It was pre-dawn and still dark. The shrill alarm jolted me from the depths of a death-like sleep even as I tried to cling on to the fading vestiges of a sweet dream. I was just within reach of seeing its mysterious ending but it was gone. Like a wisp of smoke! I tried to slowly blink away the remnants of sleep from my eyes---heavily lidded and which just refused to open even a crack at a grim time like this. The alarm was ringing incessantly. Could it be a mistake that I set it to go off so early? At this bleak hour?!  Uh! Hold on, it wasn’t the alarm but a phone call for crying out loud!” At this unearthly time, when most of this side of the world was asleep, I dearly hoped that it would be from one of the two sources--Either from ** Piny Woods Primary School or ** Woody Pines Primary School . Yes, Thank God! I was right! I recognised ** Carrie’s number of **Piny Woods Primary School. Phone calls during pitch-black hours did tend to give me the chills, driving me to think ...
5 comments
Read more