FIRSTS AND SECONDS

The day began like any other August morning in Singapore but the nip in the air embraced me a bit tenderly today and I just wanted that extra dose of coziness.

August 21st ! Today marks a significant milestone in my life - the anniversary of my open heart surgery. It's a day I'll never forget, a day that gave me a second chance at life. As I look back on the past year, I'm filled with gratitude and awe at the journey I've been on. An Open Heart Surgery and a collateral damage of a minor stroke that had left my limbs immobilized on the left side whilst in the ICU right after shifting from the OT.

A gruesome 7 hrs must have gone by before I regained consciousness and informed them about it. I was hurriedly wheeled in for an MRI which revealed a tiny clot which must have occurred when I was plugged into the heart-lung machine during the surgery. A 3% chance of freak accident I signed a disclaimer for.

With swift action from the team of cardiologists and neurologists I recovered from the partial paralysis by the end of the next day and was shifted to my private room. A week there and although wobbly from all soreness and tubes impaling my veins, torso and wrists, I had gained movement on the left side.

Meanwhile, every dismal and morbid thought had cemented itself in my core. All the ‘what if I could never….’ in every imagined scenario played its part well. But Sai Baba was with me and if he had directed me to this surgery, he would never leave me in the lurch.

And here I am on my feet!

****

A year that couldn't have flown faster than this!

A year when I crawled, scraped through jam packed episodes and phases,that seemed like I lived through lifetimes all crammed into this one and emerged through a black hole to tell the tale.

While fighting with my faint spirits to additionally safeguard my sanity during my recovery…

That was the hardest battle I ever fought in the year 2024 more than overcoming the threshold of the physical pain. I didn't let my mind break into pieces.

The incision from a couple of inches below the collar bone all the way down to the sternum was an unimaginable excruciation once the anaesthetics had faded. No amount of painkillers and sedation had minimised the anguish, neither handed out a restful sleep during my hospital stay, nor after my release during my confinement at home.

I can't even say that I ‘tossed and turned’ as even a slight movement of the torso would rip me apart anew with surging pangs. The binder helped a bit but the soreness and stiffness of my limbs were there to stay for the next 3 months.

December was a month that I could sit upright for a long time and lose the torso binder forever.

The will to see through it and make it back home to Babylou speedily gave me a discipline and routine to weave through my physiotherapy exercises for 40 minutes a day every day in the outdoor spaces– all the time letting myself drench in the early morning sunshine.

Progressing gradually to foundation pilates helped me regain flexibility, balance, a sure footed walk and the confidence to travel back to Singapore.

****

I've been given a new lease on life.

As I reflect on the past year, I'm struck by the realization that this surgery was more than just a medical procedure - it was a rebirth. It was a chance to rediscover myself, to re prioritize my life, and to make the most of the time I've been given. I've learned to appreciate the little things, to cherish the moments that make life worth living, and to never take anything for granted.

One of the most significant changes I've experienced is a newfound appreciation for life's simple pleasures. A beautiful sunset, a good cup of coffee, or a warm conversation with a loved one - these are the things that bring me joy and make life worth living. I've also learned to prioritize my health and well-being, to listen to my body, and to take care of myself.

So here's to my First Birthday of my Second Life- a day of celebration, reflection, and gratitude. To a new chapter in my life that is now a space only for joy, love, purpose and positive people who add value and cheer to my time.

PIC COURTESY: PINTEREST

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