FIRSTS AND SECONDS

The day began like any other August morning in Singapore but the nip in the air embraced me a bit tenderly today and I just wanted that extra dose of coziness.

August 21st ! Today marks a significant milestone in my life - the anniversary of my open heart surgery. It's a day I'll never forget, a day that gave me a second chance at life. As I look back on the past year, I'm filled with gratitude and awe at the journey I've been on. An Open Heart Surgery and a collateral damage of a minor stroke that had left my limbs immobilized on the left side whilst in the ICU right after shifting from the OT.

A gruesome 7 hrs must have gone by before I regained consciousness and informed them about it. I was hurriedly wheeled in for an MRI which revealed a tiny clot which must have occurred when I was plugged into the heart-lung machine during the surgery. A 3% chance of freak accident I signed a disclaimer for.

With swift action from the team of cardiologists and neurologists I recovered from the partial paralysis by the end of the next day and was shifted to my private room. A week there and although wobbly from all soreness and tubes impaling my veins, torso and wrists, I had gained movement on the left side.

Meanwhile, every dismal and morbid thought had cemented itself in my core. All the ‘what if I could never….’ in every imagined scenario played its part well. But Sai Baba was with me and if he had directed me to this surgery, he would never leave me in the lurch.

And here I am on my feet!

****

A year that couldn't have flown faster than this!

A year when I crawled, scraped through jam packed episodes and phases,that seemed like I lived through lifetimes all crammed into this one and emerged through a black hole to tell the tale.

While fighting with my faint spirits to additionally safeguard my sanity during my recovery…

That was the hardest battle I ever fought in the year 2024 more than overcoming the threshold of the physical pain. I didn't let my mind break into pieces.

The incision from a couple of inches below the collar bone all the way down to the sternum was an unimaginable excruciation once the anaesthetics had faded. No amount of painkillers and sedation had minimised the anguish, neither handed out a restful sleep during my hospital stay, nor after my release during my confinement at home.

I can't even say that I ‘tossed and turned’ as even a slight movement of the torso would rip me apart anew with surging pangs. The binder helped a bit but the soreness and stiffness of my limbs were there to stay for the next 3 months.

December was a month that I could sit upright for a long time and lose the torso binder forever.

The will to see through it and make it back home to Babylou speedily gave me a discipline and routine to weave through my physiotherapy exercises for 40 minutes a day every day in the outdoor spaces– all the time letting myself drench in the early morning sunshine.

Progressing gradually to foundation pilates helped me regain flexibility, balance, a sure footed walk and the confidence to travel back to Singapore.

****

I've been given a new lease on life.

As I reflect on the past year, I'm struck by the realization that this surgery was more than just a medical procedure - it was a rebirth. It was a chance to rediscover myself, to re prioritize my life, and to make the most of the time I've been given. I've learned to appreciate the little things, to cherish the moments that make life worth living, and to never take anything for granted.

One of the most significant changes I've experienced is a newfound appreciation for life's simple pleasures. A beautiful sunset, a good cup of coffee, or a warm conversation with a loved one - these are the things that bring me joy and make life worth living. I've also learned to prioritize my health and well-being, to listen to my body, and to take care of myself.

So here's to my First Birthday of my Second Life- a day of celebration, reflection, and gratitude. To a new chapter in my life that is now a space only for joy, love, purpose and positive people who add value and cheer to my time.

PIC COURTESY: PINTEREST

Comments

CHẠ̀WKHRĀW (Chxw̒kh rxw̒)

As usual, at the dot of 8 pm, the Guzheng plays its stirring chords, the haunting notes beginning a slow sweep, rising to a powerful crescendo and alternating with a tranquil ebbing of melody surfing me along the waves of soul-stirring, yet a serene stretch of an hour every day. I make it a point to sit right beside my dining room window to bask in this lulling sound therapy as my neighbor downstairs diligently plays on this zither, oblivious to my admiration. What a luxury it is to have a live orchestra while I savour the last meal of the day. It's a welcome distraction to the otherwise jarring squabbling of the playful neighbourhood children. The Chạ̀wkhrāw of this– that the musical household might move one day is a foreboding thought. Foreshadowing this, deeply ingrained in me is the shattering news I had received upon returning to Singapore after an 8 month absence here. The Ramadan festive season was fast approaching at the end of March but the apar...

HIRAETH

Most rainy afternoons make me jog down memory lane, to the rhythm of the downpours that cascades down in sheets. And I slacken to the percussion of the raindrops tapping against my window pane. Flashes of memories of the halcyon days of the mid 1970’s come back to find me, to haunt me like mists hanging heavy and still. My only solace at this juncture are my vintage albums. The windows to the past and my very own time machine. Mulling over the pictures, I pen her a tribute: Once upon a time, there was a time when photos were Black & White, Monochrome, Sepia But the trees in your backyard were a much Idyllic Green--Verdant, Jade, and Lime. The fire in your hearth, a sunset Orange--red-hot, Amber and glimmering as you stoked it. The skies, immensely boundless, a much Pristine Blue--Cornflower, Sapphire and Azure, As you pointed out to me the floating frothy clouds, the eagles gliding with their fanned out wings; Or the occasional lone airplane soaring dominantly, a tiny speck hi...

ANAM CARA

The waves are soft and frothy. Laced with gossamer frills tenderly kissing the tips of my toes covered with the grainy sand of the rugged seashore where I'm sitting, wistful. A gust of briny breeze tousles my hair as I gaze as far as my eyes can see. A flock of terns wheel overhead, their sharp, shrill cries punctuating the air as they dive and swoop over the surfs. A lone frigate bird , its crimson belly dazzling like a jewel skims majestically above, its long, slender wings outstretched as it rides the thermals high above the ocean. I absorb the sights and sounds of the late afternoon while absentmindedly scooping seashells beside me. As the afternoon phases, the furthest rim of the ocean is fringed in a gilded hem and the sleepy sun yawns, its dipping glow streaking the sky in a mellow tangerine and warm cherry. As I continue sitting there, the ships and yachts appear --specks of light from the portholes glimmering in the distance, reminding me of the phrase “That ship has sai...

GATOS MEUS QUERIDOS

Chapter 1 Muay The Warrior Cat Muay Thai came to be called so for the feisty and spirited little thing she was, reminiscent of the intense and energetic martial art of Muay Thai . Her bold personality inspired me to give her a name that reflected her sass and vigor. Muay Thai's antics were the stuff of legends. She was a buzz of energy, always getting into mischief and mayhem. Whether she was chasing invisible bugs, leaping over furniture like an acrobat or wrestling with toys, Muay Thai was a force to be reckoned with. Her favorite pastime was "attacking" my hands and feet, using her lightning-fast reflexes and razor-sharp teeth. It was a game she loved, and one that always left me in stitches. Despite her tough-as-nails persona, Muay Thai was also a total softie at heart. She loved nothing more than curling up in my lap and purring contentedly, her eyes gleaming with adoration before snoozing into the deepest of sl...

INSIDIOUS

The car juddered to a halt and refused to budge an inch forward. "Luke, I thought we had a full gas tank and the car was serviced just this weekend…what's wrong?" "I have no idea, Stella…We're in the middle of nowhere and my phone has no signal! But look there. It says 'Baby Museum' on the signpost. Shall we go in and see if they have a landline to get us out of this mess?" "Guess we have no choice. But I'm very uneasy, Luke. I just want to go home and rest. Our baby's due in a couple of weeks." "I'm so sorry, honey. But look at the brighter side. We can check out this place in advance." At the entrance were standees of Tinkerbell and Peter Pan. The lobby glowed with pastel pink shimmering lights. Mannequins of fairies lined the walls. Luke approached the front desk. "Yes sir, we will have it arranged. Meanwhile, why don't the both of you take a tour of our museum?" Stella took Luke's arm and hobbl...

Sangeetha Kamath

Search This Blog