UBUNTU

 

Watching the child 'Mun' in our neighborhood grow up alongside my own daughter, Babylou was a joy. They were classmates since Kindergarten, and ‘Adina' and I would always walk our tots home together, chatting all the way until we reached our apartment and got off on different floors.

A couple of happy years passed and the children were in the same primary school again. ‘Adina’ and I would be seated together in the Parent’s Bay area while waiting for the dismissal time. Our thoughts and outlook blended like cream and mascarpone cheese in a Blondie.

Happy-go-Lucky to the hilt, she was always with a sunny disposition, her bright smile the highlight of her personality.

But life can be cruel in ways that we never dream. A few years into Primary school, ‘Adina' in a state of stupor confided in me that ‘Mun’ was diagnosed with cancer.

To say I was jolted with this piece of news is an understatement. This 8 year old girl who pranced ahead of us playfully alongside Babylou while we walked home ??

‘Mun', who on scorching noons delighted in ice cream sandwiches from the vendor carts who waited for children at the school gates was reduced to ill health of such grave proportions was something I couldn't digest.

Weeks later while I volunteered in the school, I would see her in the hallways during recess wearing a headscarf to hide the loss of her thick tresses. The luxurious ponytail which would once sway happily as she walked with a spring in her step. Now she walked with deliberate movements keeping to herself, trying to be invisible.

She would quietly wave a shy ‘Hello’ whenever I would greet her with a compassionate Hi, ‘Mun’. It was heartbreaking to see her painful journey. 

A bright student missing days on end of crucial classes and exams spending time on a hospital bed determined to keep up with the rest of the cohort. Working out home assignments and studying hard while surfing through the painful chemo.

A true inspiration to all was dear ‘Mun’ .

The lengths ‘Adina’ went to, to get worksheets and pending notes from the form teachers who were so kind hearted to make extra copies for ‘Mun’ and have them neatly packaged on a weekly basis for ‘Adina' to take to the hospital—was truly admirable. 

A mother's love for a kid with a terminal illness, yet never giving up on the uncertain journey and striving through it all– the nerves of steel she must have endured on her own…

‘Mun’, a brilliant, brilliant young lady was an all rounder in school, a graceful dancer who moved lithely yet with powerful swirls and foot tapping to Flamenco. She had won the hearts of a jury panel during the audition for our Kindergarten Graduation ceremony. 

A musical dance drama with a segment of a Spanish Bull Dance was the highlight of the evening during the event. Glam girl ‘Mun’ had stolen the show with her bright red dance costume, dancing flawlessly to the beats and keeping with the rhythm of the upbeat music…

*****

What a catastrophic chain of events it had turned out to be few years down the line!

It was a nightmare and a shocker for Babylou as well who was too young to assimilate the complexity of the situation…The name of the illness ‘Mun’ was suffering had unsettled her hugely.

One Sunday afternoon, Adina in a fluster messaged me in quite an urgency for the shortage of funds that had borne down upon them for the next Chemo session. The embarrassment of asking for a loan was quite evident in her downcast eyes and her shaky, tearful voice…The family's financial struggles had only added to their sorrows.

Seeing my friend in a manner so desperate, shook me to the core. I wholeheartedly pitched in for a few of the sessions and choked when she said that she would return it slowly. I waved off the repayment and told her not to worry about it at all. 

It was the least I could do for a family I'd watched become part of my life. As I handed over the financial assistance, I couldn't help feeling my heart implode at ‘Adina’s gratitude.I reassured her that we were in this together.

In that moment, I felt a deep sense of Ubuntu – a connection to this family, to my community, and to the shared humanity that binds us. I wasn't just helping a neighbor; I was supporting a friend going through a tough crisis.

Primary 6 graduation came and went. Babylou moved on to a new secondary school and bumping into ‘Adina’ became a rare occasion except at a supermarket or whenever we chanced upon each other while picking up mails. The children too had independently started commuting to and fro.

Lockdown came soon after, followed by a Circuit Breaker and then Social Distancing close on its heels. ‘Adina’ totally went off the grid and the new normal then prevented me from knocking on her door to ask about ‘Mun’ and her well being.

When things settled down and the world had opened up, circumstances had found chapters permanently closed for ‘Adina’.

****

Craning my neck to peer into the balcony diagonal to my guest room which gives me a slight view of her front door 4 floors down, I saw a group of people dressed in all white gathered outside their house and lingering solemnly in the common corridor. 

The image was so heart stopping, and I was been unable to shake off the feeling that something final had taken place. Were they paying last respects to the teenage child I'd grown to know and care for? The niggling feeling was unbearable and so were the unanswered questions and emotions.

Ubuntu came at a great price, the outcome of which could have not been so tragic…

Is ‘Mun’ alive and well? 

Was the gathering for something else or for someone else? 

Though I never got to see the outcome, I soon after realised that the family had moved away after a difficult journey. I'm left with memories of the child and the family, and the knowledge that I played a tiny part in their painful journey.

Ubuntu reminds me that our actions ripple out, touching lives in ways we may never fully know. This experience has deepened my understanding of community and connection. It's a reminder that we're all in this together, and that even small acts of kindness can have a profound impact and make a significant difference in someone's life.

Ubuntu is not just a philosophy; it's a way of living that acknowledges our interconnectedness. By showing up for others, we build stronger, more compassionate communities.

Never a day goes by when you don't cross my mind, you pretty, well-behaved, adorable, kindhearted ‘Mun’. God bless you and keep you safe…wherever you are…

‘Adina’, you're always in my heart...

PIC COURTESY:PINTEREST