April has limbered into May in hushed tones. Everything has changed so drastically, yet the new tangent has forked in a manner so seamless
"Some goodbyes set you free"….These words are always playing on a loop, forefront on my mind as I reflect on the day I said goodbye to my father. I remember the feeling of emptiness that consumed me, the weight of his absence drowning me in a fog so heavy and dense that just refused to lift. But as time passed at a snails pace, I began to realize that his passing had also set him free. Free from his extreme pain and discomfort.
While manoeuvring the complexities of life without his guidance, at the same time I'm empowered by the lessons he imparted. Left on my own to make my own decisions without a sturdy stronghold to fall back on, to stumble and learn from my mistakes is the next chapter of my life lesson I have to learn to tackle. Forging my own path leaves me extremely vulnerable to 'what could have been' if things do fall apart.
In the midst of grief, I find solace in the concept of Refuah – healing. I find comfort in the idea that Refuah isn't just about physical healing but also emotional and spiritual restoration.
The spiritual strength I derive from Buddhist mantras, particularly Green Tara Mantra, is a profound source of comfort and resilience. Repeating "Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha" connects me to Green Tara's compassionate energy.
In times of uncertainty, the mantra's soothing rhythm and meaning provide stability and guidance. It's a reminder that I'm not alone, that there's a deeper, universal energy that supports me.
The repetition of the mantra becomes a meditation, quieting my mind and opening my heart chakra. It's a powerful tool for personal growth, helping me swim through life's challenges.This spiritual practice has become an integral part of my Refuah journey.
As I amble through the darkness, I discover that Refuah is also about finding wholeness in the brokenness. It is about embracing the pain and using it as a catalyst for growth. With each passing day, I feel the weight of my grief slowly lifting, replaced by a sense of acceptance.
As I reflect on my journey of loss, I've come to realize that I don't/shouldn't grieve my father in a way that makes me hit a bottomless pit; I must celebrate him every day!
His presence may be gone, but his impact on my life remains profound. I choose to honor his memory by embracing the lessons he taught me, the good memories we created, and the love and respect we exchanged.
In doing so, I've transformed what could have been a period of darkness into a honouring of his life. Every day, I find ways to embody the values he instilled in me, to live with purpose, and to spread kindness. His legacy lives on through me, and I take comfort in knowing that his influence continues to shape my path.
This mindset hasn't eliminated the pain of loss, but it has given me a sense of gratitude. I focus on the memories that bring a smile to my face, the stories that make me laugh, and the wisdom that guides me. By celebrating my father every day, I keep his spirit alive, and in doing so, I find solace and strength. Love never truly goes away.
I find the remnants of the glitter stuck fast, in every mundane chore I do or while cooking his favourite food.
My father's presence may not be physical, but his love is woven into every cell and vein of my being, reminding me to live with intention and joy.
I've come to understand that the pain of parting can be a catalyst for transformation.As I look back on this goodbye, I realize that it has taught me something valuable. It has shown me that evolving is not in holding onto what's familiar but in embracing the unknown. Reminders that life is precious, fleeting, and that every moment counts is everywhere.
And as I continue on my path, I'll hold onto the wisdom of Refuah, knowing that with this honourable farewell, I'm one step closer to becoming the person I'm meant to be.
Healing is a never ending journey. There never is...was a destination. It's a twisted path of wicked spirals where linear lines are non existent.
Grief visits you in sporadic waves, engulfing you when you least expect it, yet I bide the time and wait till the roller coaster comes to a stop. It eventually does only to restart without a warning. That's when I brace myself and turn to God...or of late the one who's closest to him---my father's spirit in the divine realm.
The ever changing seasons too give me priceless lessons that after every frosted winter, a spring awaits me. With different colours and blooms perhaps, but nonetheless with brightness, rising dawns and new beginnings around the bend.
PIC COURTESY:PINTEREST
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