THE SHAPE OF MY LAST DAYS

Self Discovery 30 Day Writing Challenge

Day #13 If today was your last day, what would you do?

Alright! For me, that's a very abstract question.

Let me start from the very beginning of 'Last Days' that I had.

✨Last day of Kindergarten---with a very snobbish air, I told the Year 1 kindergarten kids that I was going to Primary 1 next year and wear uniforms to school.

"I'm a big girl now."

✨Last day of Primary School---I was indifferent.

"Huh! High school is next on the cards. What's the big deal! If anything, maybe I will have more subjects to study."

✨ Last day of High School---I jumped for joy! And also had mixed emotions to part from childhood friends.

" I made it! Survived the board exams. What's the next step? I must choose my stream in Pre-Uni carefully. It will make or break my life"😅

✨Last day of Pre-Uni--- I had settled into the grind and at the same time I was deep in thought

"Will this saga never end?! The next three years in University will be my life deciding factor. Time to get really, really serious!"

✨Last day of Bcom at Uni---I was lost and at sea.

"Wow! This is what I wanted, didn't I? No more studying?! No more going to school/ college? What on earth happens now?! Really what...! Further studies!

Law?

MBA?

CA?

After much deliberation, Chartered Accountancy it was!

✨ Well! Into my 2nd year of internship of CA, I was about to quit the profession midway because of nerve-wracking evenings which ran into well past midnight due to intense studying from sizeable books upon returning home.

Not to mention working alongside cranky Auditors during the day. Nights merged into days and days into nights without a breather.

On my supposedly 'last day'---I found myself berating me with:

"I must have lost my mind when I decided to join this mind-numbing course! I'm caught between the devil and deep blue sea!

Income Tax Law and all the mismatched astronomical figures in the Balance Sheet of these crazy-rich people are swimming in front of my eyes even when I'm in deep sleep.

Will I ever see the end of this numbers nightmare!

I should quit this madness, simply get married and become a homemaker!"

But fate had other things in store for me and I didn't quit! I hung in there nevertheless and a soft voice from within whispered--

"I'm proud of you!" And I whispered back--"Im proud of you too!"

✨Last official day of CA internship ---I heaved a sigh of relief and crashed onto my bed with a "Yooooohoooo! Mission Accomplished! I can finally become a recluse and take a much needed hiatus for a long, long time to catch up on lost sleep and all the sweet dreams that I missed out on all these years."

And that's that! I got what I wished for 😂

No regrets!

✨These are a series of 'Last Days'. How could I ever think I was done with them when some of that soap opera has repeated in Babylou's life 😅

It was a heart-wrenching Deja-Vu all over again as I relived my school days through her at every phase.

It's another story that Babylou is not cast in the same mould as me and wears a skin as thick as as Rhino's, around emotions like these 😅

Well, I lost some, I lost some more and then gained some wonderful memories which creep up on me unexpectedly even now, making me laugh and feeling silly all over again.

✨Every day is a first. Even if it's my last to walk on this Earthly realm, there's nothing I can do to cram every unfinished business into this particular day.

I try to live everyday as if it's my last---cook the family their favorite meal, write in my journals, watch the sun set behind a high rise if not into the sea, watch the moon rise from behind another high rise, go to sleep with a smile on my lips and the rest is... destiny.

----Sangeetha Kamath

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ANAM CARA

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In my quiet moments, I pause the world from its frantic pace. In that stillness, I wistfully gaze into the distance and just let things unfurl as they please. I let my thoughts flow, absorbing nothing. Internalizing nothing. And just like that, the strands of tightly woven twine untangle and the knots come loose. Today, as usual, I found myself caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily grind. I was rushing to get things done, stressing about deadlines, and feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of tasks on my to-do list. But then, I took a deliberate pause. With a deep breath, I stretched, stepped away from my desk, and walked out onto my balcony. Leaning on the railing, I looked down at the familiar lanes of my neighborhood, twirling around the corners behind the blocks of apartments. The park and playground stood deserted at noon amid the cluster of flowering trees and surrounded by the hedges lining the curbs. I gazed at the sky, feeling the warm sun on my face and ...

ARIEL AND BLUE-BLOOD SHOES

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As usual, at the dot of 8 pm, the Guzheng plays its stirring chords, the haunting notes beginning a slow sweep, rising to a powerful crescendo and alternating with a tranquil ebbing of melody surfing me along the waves of soul-stirring, yet a serene stretch of an hour every day. I make it a point to sit right beside my dining room window to bask in this lulling sound therapy as my neighbor downstairs diligently plays on this zither, oblivious to my admiration. What a luxury it is to have a live orchestra while I savour the last meal of the day. It's a welcome distraction to the otherwise jarring squabbling of the playful neighbourhood children. The Chạ̀wkhrāw of this– that the musical household might move one day is a foreboding thought. Foreshadowing this, deeply ingrained in me is the shattering news I had received upon returning to Singapore after an 8 month absence here. The Ramadan festive season was fast approaching at the end of March but the apar...

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The sleek steel grey landline with it's cordless handset gleams in the mid morning sunlight. It's only a fixture on the tabletop these past several years yet loved and flaunted for old times sake. Also, for the numerous times the handset had nestled in our palms. The vintage feel of it and the stronghold of memories I associate it with beats the smartphone by miles. It has in turn been a confidante of our precious moments, some idling talk, some annoyance oh yes ! and all before Whatsapp made an entry into our lives and the poor dear was no longer in demand. The world was at our fingertips. It doesn't complain, doesn't whimper, not even a sigh, murmur or a slightest hint at a whisper of life for the past decade and more! Except… On Thursday the daylights were socked out of me! Lost in mundane chores, I had my gloved hands deep in a pile of soapy water scrubbing away at the breakfast dishes. The usual swell of silence was harshly rend by the landline from the livin...

Sangeetha Kamath

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